Life has a way of putting you in your place. It has a way of forcing you to be grateful for the good things that happen to you, because it also gives you heartache. I am grateful for so much in my life and although the times of disappointment and failure and fear and trauma and pain have taken their toll on me, I am grateful for what they have taught me and the times they have given me.
I met a person in Texas who changed my perspective and altered the path of my life. In the beginning, she talked with me until our eyelids became weights. In the middle, she kissed me until sunrise. In the end, she broke my heart. Two thirds of our time was great, but I will always wear the scar she gave me as a reminder of the consequences of risk. For now it feels fresh and painful and unexplainable. Later I will pull out the pictures and remember how it once felt to be someone's other, someone's more than a friend, someone's girlfriend. I wrote so many personal journal entries for years wondering why no one that I liked ever liked me back. One day it happened and it was real for a moment, and then it was gone. I am, however grateful for everything, even the pain I feel right now. For this pain means that I loved someone and although it is lost forever in the future, it lives forever in my heart.
