Saying Goodbye Why is it Hard?

I have written about T Casey in numerous blogs, but he seems the great example of people who come into my life and cause me to wonder why. T Casey was a homeless man that I met at a soup kitchen my freshman year of college on one of the few occasions that I managed to get out of bed and face the world. The man was crazy, but interesting. He showed me the comic books he had written and told me he was famous. He did have a webpage on the internet, so I suppose that's more famous than me. At the time, I was really lonely and really contemplative. I wondered why I met T Casey and whether or not our lives would cross paths again. I saw him around Ann Arbor a few times after that, but no strange encounters. I guess T Casey's influence on my life was merely to be used as an example in future blogs...and I have never forgotten him.

And so I guess this is what this year has been for me, a lesson in letting go. My Grandma died in March and I will never forget that pain. There can be nothing harder than watching your very best friend die and knowing that you can neither go with her or do anything to save her. Life is just tough that way. So maybe that's why I am feeling that way, again - the way I felt when my Grandma was dying - that feeling of never seeing someone again. Maybe that's ok. It's just the way the world works - people come and go and you are a part of it. Sometimes it is just time to pack your bags and move to Texas, go back home for a bit, or just drive until your car breaks down. Krystal is leaving in a few days to visit her mom and I'm not sure I will ever see her again and frankly it breaks my heart. I seem to grow attached to very few people, but those that I do, I have trouble letting go of. So here I am, 23 years old, but I'll be 24 in a few weeks. I am happy to say goodbye to 23. It was the hardest and most fucked-up year of my life. Goodbye Gertrude. Goodbye Stimpy. Goodbye Krystal. Goodbye Grandma. Hello to whoever the next stupid fuck is whom I grow attached to. You're in for a real treat. Goodbye Blog Readers and Goodnight for now.