Pills, Bills, and Mountainous Hills

Who do I know in their twenties that is not constantly wrestling between thoughts of positive potential for the future and thoughts of failure, disgrace, and depression? Unfortunately, most of my friends seem pretty damn happy, stable, and well...married. I suppose I received more eye rolls at my ideas, when I was younger than my friends, but I cannot help but wish I were them sometimes. It would be nice to know that you have a place of your own to go home to every night after your stable job. It would be nice to know that you have someone who loves you so much he or she offers assurance that they want to be with you for a very long time. I guess that I never realized that all of the "normal" parts of adulthood would be so stressful. Maybe I make them stressful through my choices and own obscene mind. I just want to go camping when I make plans to camp, so I can buy s'more fixins' and snacks. I sort of want my old life back and at the same time am so addicted and in love with my new life that it breaks my heart with the thought of giving it up. Everyday, I just really miss my Grandma, because when it came down to it, she was always the Bestest Person, Thing, and Idea in the whole wide world. I want to be brave like her.